INSIDE: Reflections

Rough, crude, uneducated shepherds sit outside in the fields looking after stupid, mindless sheep. Maybe they were telling stories and jokes to make the long night pass more quickly.
"Attention!" the voice says. Suddenly the dark night filled with light. Perhaps the shepherds thought to grab a staff to fend off an enemy—but the light!? This being is too powerful to struggle with. The only choice is fear. What might this being do to us?
"Don't be afraid. There is good news that will give you joy..."
What?! The Messiah has come? Is it really possible? Bethlehem, did he say? Manger? Why is the Messiah in a stable? What does this mean? "Excuse me, but did you say..."

A few weeks ago, I came out of a fog I hadn't realized I was in. It all started when I lost my precious Spiral for four weeks. My grief took over my life, and my brain shut down; the fog set in. Just as I returned from a 9-day trip to Greece, I got Spiral back (another long story), but jet lag set in. I often wonder whether diplomats should ever travel. Jet lag is real, and it affects one's ability to think clearly, but that's another long story. As my brain was beginning to clear, I got sick with something like the flu. Again, my brain went numb. I was sick for three weeks! 

You may ask, "What happened when your brain went into that fog?" It's not pretty.

After listening to the news for 20 minutes this morning, I felt very sad. As I read Psalm 23, a lament prayer came to mind.

Restore my soul, O God of grace,
May I continue to seek your face.
The world has become such a confusing place.

After getting to know a number of young people of the Millennial and GenZ age groups, as well as looking back on my own life around the age of 20-something, I was inspired to rewrite Psalm 23 as many seem to be living it out.

When life gets too stressful, what do you do to break the tension? If the stress is political, I stop listening to and reading the news. But sometimes, you can't escape that easily. So, I've had to make a conscious effort to find my "happy place" and make sure I go there regularly. Where is my place? At my computer, writing and editing my next book. If I didn't love doing those things, whey would I have become an author? The writing and editing are the fun parts for me. I love trying to find just the right word to fit a situation (and get rid of some overused words and phrases). My ProWritingAid program also tells me when I've put in too many unnecessary words. That gives me the challenge of shortening and tightening up my writing. When I reach my target score, I feel successful and pleased with myself.

The words in Isaiah 30:15 caught my attention a few days ago. It says, "in quietness and confidence is your strength." I don't know about you, but I feel very weak at times, especially when I'm busy. Maybe that's the price I pay for being an introvert. I've been praying for different situations in the world, and I quickly become overwhelmed. These words challenged me, and maybe the poem that came to me will help you if you feel similarly challenged.

February 14 is Valentine's Day. It seems strange that the season of Lent should start on the same day, but that's how it works this year. In case you didn't know, Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and continues for 40 days or six weeks. Sundays don't count as part of the Lenten season because Sunday celebrates the Resurrection! Traditionally, Christians fast from something during this time. I first fasted from chocolate. That was difficult, but it kept me focused on the season I was in. One year, God seemed to want me to play once a week. I failed miserably at that. A few years ago, I wrote a prayer of confession based on Scripture each day. Those prayers can be found in Prayers of Confession for Lent. Each Sunday has a prayer of praise or thanksgiving.

January 2, I saw my eye doctor and complained that I couldn't see well. My cataracts were interfering. As an author, I look at a computer screen a lot, but when the words I've just written look more like Chinese characters than English words, there is a problem! He didn't think they were much worse than they have been for the last two years, but I told him that from behind the eyes, there was definitely a difference! It seems he has a lull in his schedule, and so can fit me in on January 17. 

Naked and Exposed

We are naked and exposed

Before a holy God

Who knows our inner thoughts, desires;

Nothing hidden, all things bare.

He will hold us to account.

How can we endure

Such a probing accuracy?

We have hidden, secreted, justified,

Pretended now to no avail. We’re undone –

Guilty on all counts.

I've lost three friends since August and another close friend is battling Stage 4 cancer. As I grieve these losses, these words came to me.

What we say and what we do often are not the same. The words of Psalm 23 bless many: The LORD is my shepherd. I have everything that I need. But as I've looked at my life and the lives of those around me, it looks very different. In reality, it probably goes more like this: The LORD is my backup plan in case I have an emergency. What are we cheating ourselves out of? God wants to be our Shepherd, our Coach! But we leave him on the sidelines until we've messed up so badly, we have to call God to help us out.

Sometimes I’m here,

But also trying to be there.

Therefore, I am nowhere.

To be here in this moment,

I must be fully present –

Taking in the sights and sounds

Listening with ears and heart and mind.

If I’m also trying to be there,

I miss the value and joy of here

And feel frustrated and anxious about there.

Don’t let me miss my best life

By trying to be both

Here and there.

Help me be in the present with all my being –

Enjoying the moment to the full

Before moving to the next.

Then I shall know I have truly lived.

For those who know me, Finding what to say may sound like a strange title. I almost always have something to say. But faced with what to say on a podcast or radio show left me speechless. What do I have to share that is unique? I know there must be something after all these years, but what is it? Also, the content needs to be evergreen (appropriate at any time). I attended a Podcast webinar on Thursday, and one of the speakers, Juliet Hahn, said something profound, at least for me. She said, meditate about your life. Go for a walk, take a shower, do whatever inspires you. Think what message I have that is unique and worth talking about.

I have a close friend who has stage 4 cancer. There is a slim possibility that chemotherapy will extend her life for a year or two. But she isn't yet up to having chemotherapy. She needs to build up her strength and eat! So, we wait to see what the outcome will be. My friend has had a huge influence on my life for 40 years! I am the person I am today because of her. So, what can I do today to encourage her? She has many friends and colleagues, and one of them suggested we all remind her of how she made a difference in our lives. So, we are sending messages to her while she can read them and remember. Why wait until someone has died before we say all those nice things? They can't hear them then. Our words don't encourage them at that point. So, if you care about someone, tell them today. Don't wait. We never know when our time on earth will come to an end.